Thursday, 15 September 2011

'URI GELLER AND THE PSYCHIC CASTLE OF ACADEMIA'


Today I am in Sweden paying a visit to students at my 'Uri Geller Academy Of Spoonbending And Other Associated Psychic Abilities And Behaviour' (U.G.A.O.S.A.O.A.P.A.A.B. for short).

It is wholly funded by myself and is the world's foremost, most distinguished and only school for studying and nurturing psychic abilities of the young.

Why choose Sweden? Well, because it one of my most favourite countries in the world. Sweden is spilling over with fine culture, natural beauty and a proud individuality.

Sweden is also the home of IKEA, and choosing a site here meant we were eligible for a 75% discount on all fixtures and furnishings.

I had the idea for the school after watching 'X-Men' over a decade ago. It is a fantastic movie in which Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek is the Principal of a special academy for the supernaturally gifted, and spends 100% of his time sat in a chair teaching teenagers with extraordinary abilities how to utilise and strengthen their fantastic powers.

Even though it was only a movie, I found the list of similarities between myself and Jean-Luc staggering:


1) He can read people's minds.


It was then that I realised I too needed to build a school to teach and nurture the psychic powers of today's youths just like Jean-Luc, so that my legacy will live on forever. And now, 11 years later, we are in the second semester of our third year. The only criteria for entry is that each student must have a raw psychic ability, an open-mind and a willingness to learn and work hard. They must also bear at least a 95% resemblance to myself and their parents must sign an agreement allowing their children to legally change their name to 'Uri Geller'.

Here I am with freshmen Uri Geller and Uri Geller. They are currently learning to bend teaspoons and are keen to progress to ladles like those students in their senior year.

"Be patient" I tell them.

"Spoons are like bones..... as you grow they grow along with you".


Until the next time.... love, peace and positive energy,

-Uri