Friday, 23 December 2011

'URI GELLER AND THE FESTIVE ZONE OF INFINITUDE'


"HAPPY HOLIDAYS!" and Merry Christmas to you as well.

At this special time of year I like to search through my old photographs and fondly remember those (hundreds of) thousands of people whose lives I have changed forever.

Today I am taking an emotional trip down memory lane to remember the female elves from 'Santa'z Kriztmas Krew' grotto at Rolling Acres Mall in Akron, Ohio. In the United States.

I met them whilst on a Christmas shopping trip, but when I entered the mall through it's revolving doors a burst of negative energy came from inside and pushed me back out. As soon I came round again I decided to locate the source and demolish it with plumes of positivity dispatched from my mind.

Yet after locating it's origin near the atrium, I was not faced with a crimson cloud of anger or scarlet menace, but a tangled cloud of stress surrounding Santa's Grotto. Unfortunately the aforementioned lady elves could not keep up with the onslaught of so many hundreds of children wanting to see just the one Saint Nicholas, and feeling their anxiety levels peaking I just knew I had to help.

I immediately closed my eyes, placed my index finger firmly upon my watch and proceeded to bend time itself. The second hand obeyed my command in an instant and slowed down the world's time vortex to such an extent that from that point on, seconds within the mall would take months to pass and minutes would take years.

"Do not worry" I told Kriztmas Krew members Jodi, Toni, Lois and Blossom.

"As of now, time will travel with you" I explained, and the combination of their tears and confused expressions said more to me than any words could have.

That day was December 15th 1995, and the ladies have been happily and obliviously working away within that time zone for almost 17 years now. I wish them and each mall shopper who is there celebrating the joy of Christmastime for all eternity a very Happy Holiday, and a prosperous 1996.


Until the next time.... love, peace and positive energy. And season's greetings!

-Uri